The Art of the Meditation

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Hello, folks.

This is your former President, Donald Trump, and today, I am going to lead you through an incredible, fantastic guided meditation.

Trust me; it's going to be the best meditation you've ever had.

So, sit back, relax, and let's make relaxation great again.

First, find a comfortable position, the best position you've ever been in, in a quiet and relaxing space.

You can sit or lie down, whatever feels most luxurious to you.

Now, close your eyes.

We're going to take a few deep breaths together.

Inhale through your nose, filling your lungs with fresh, clean air.

Feel the air entering your body, like the wind on a beautiful golf course.

Hold that breath for a moment.

Now, exhale through your mouth, releasing any tension, any stress, any fake news that's bothering you.

Let's do that again.

Inhale, deeply and slowly.

One, two, three, four.

Hold it.

One, two.

And exhale, four, three, two, one.

Excellent.

You're doing a tremendous job, believe me.

As you continue breathing, I want you to imagine you're standing in front of a magnificent, golden door.

This door represents peace, calm, and prosperity.

It's the most beautiful door you've ever seen.

Place your hand on the handle and feel the warmth of the gold.

Open the door, and step into a lush, green garden.

This garden is your safe haven, your personal Mar-a-Lago, if you will.

It's a place where you can escape the chaos, the noise, the fake news of the world.

Begin to walk slowly through your garden, noticing the vibrant colors of the flowers and the soothing sounds of nature around you.

The sun is shining brightly, just like the economy when I was in office.

As you walk, you come across a luxurious gold bench, perfectly positioned under a large, majestic tree.

Sit down on this bench, and let's take a few moments to relax even deeper.

Close your eyes and focus on the sounds of the garden.

Hear the rustling of the leaves, the gentle chirping of the birds, and the subtle movement of the wind.

It's like a symphony, a beautiful orchestra, just for you.

Now, I want you to focus on your body.

Starting at your feet, feel any tension or discomfort melting away.

It's like you're wearing the most comfortable, perfect shoes ever made.

Move up to your legs, releasing any tightness, any stress, any thoughts of impeachment.

Just let it all go.

Continue to your hips and lower back.

Release any tension, any worries about trade wars or immigration policies.

Just relax and let your body sink into the gold bench.

Now, feel the relaxation moving up your spine, reaching your shoulders, your arms, your hands.

Every part of your body is feeling more and more relaxed, like you're floating on a cloud, a perfect, white, fluffy cloud.

Finally, let the relaxation reach your head and face.

Release any tension in your jaw, your eyes, your forehead.

You're completely relaxed now, like the day I left the White House.

Everything is calm, serene, perfect.

Take a moment to enjoy this relaxation, this peace, this incredible feeling of tranquility.

You deserve it, folks.

You're the best.

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